


Grounding

by GinaofCaldera



Series: Sadia Adaar and Iron Bull Stories [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Hushed Whispers, Explanation of mental illness thats more personal than intended, F/M, How Do I Tag, My First Work in This Fandom, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29167080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinaofCaldera/pseuds/GinaofCaldera
Summary: After Sadia Adaar returns from that strange time portal, she is on edge and...sparky. She leaves to calm herself down. Iron Bull tracks down her and realizes some..things.
Relationships: Female Adaar/The Iron Bull (Dragon Age), Female Inquisitor/Iron Bull
Series: Sadia Adaar and Iron Bull Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141160
Kudos: 5





	Grounding

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is the first of series of stories I need to get out of my brain after finishing the game. Please note that things will get...wonky. Some stuff I will forget or misread. Ah well, hope you enjoy.
> 
> Yeah, I know the one venture in Redcliffe wasn't THAT bad, but come on, we all know what red lyrium does. That stuff is messed up. No reason I couldn't make it MORE extreme.
> 
> Rated Teen for cursing and mild mentions of certain sex acts.

The Iron Bull had witnessed a lot in his time. Battles, death, giant rifts forming in the sky, just a little bit of everything. Two people getting sucked into a magic portal only to appear a few seconds later covered in blood and who knows what else? Yeah, that was new. So too was Sadia Adaar. He only knew her for a brief period of time, and she seemed to be a decent person. She was to roll with the punches her new role gave her, always ready with a cheeky retort or heartfelt compliment. Now, though, she was a shaking, fuming wreck. Tears were melting her vitaar. Stray magic flowed out of her eyes, and they bored into the Vint magister, Alexius, who fell to his knees in shock upon her reappearance. Iron Bull could feel the venom when she spat, “You’re done here,” to him. If he wasn’t a conniving Vint, Bull would have felt sorry for him. Sadia looked ready to tear out his heart. He understands that, if they were alone, she would have.

That anger never left Sadia. Not when she confronted King Alistair, not when she conscripted the mages, not even when she barrelled down the steps of the chantry. She moved like a juggernaut. People jumped out of her like they had been shocked. That was probably true. Sparks were falling off of her, popping and fizzing. Now, Iron Bull was a larger man, but even he had difficulty keeping up with the Vashoth mage. Even with her back breaking pace, they didn’t make it back to camp until nightfall. She slammed her pack into her tent, turned to Dorian, and demanded with much more venom than what she probably intended, “Get yourself cleaned. You took a few too many hits back there.” 

“So did you. Don’t want the Herald to die to an infection after all that,” Dorian retorted, putting on his signature smirk.

Sadia wasn’t having it. “Dorian, do as I say. I need to be alone.”

“Sadia, I-” Dorian tried to finish his sentence, but Sadia thumped her staff into the ground. It sounded like a thunder strike.

“I. Need. To. Be. Alone!” She asserted, her normally prim voice a harsh growl. “Do not follow me.” She stormed off, quite literally. Every thump of her staff sent off popping, purple sparks. 

“What the hell was that about?” Sera said. “Something seems to have crept up her arse.”

“Don’t judge her prickly attitude,” Dorian pleaded, getting a bucket of water and a rag. “We were sent through a portal in time. We saw what would happen if the world didn’t have her. It was, well, bad would be an understatement. There was no world. Nothing remained. The Veil was shattered. The Fade melted into this world. Demons and darkspawn reigned. Red lyrium grew out of the walls like some blind man’s attempt at interior decorating. Everyone had died, or gone insane from red lyrium exposure, you two included. It was a jarring experience. It was a harrowing experience. She needs time to process.”

“And what about you, magic fingers?” Sera asked, crossing her arms. “Got away Scott-free huh?”

“Oh, no, definitely not. I’m gonna go off somewhere, get clean, then drink myself into a deep stupor. Hopefully, I won’t get eaten by that dragon down the road, but who knows? It would be the perfect end to the day I just had. Now, pardon me, but I’m going to see if this camp has any liquor I can nab. For medicinal purposes.” He departed with a flourish of his robes, leaving Sera and Iron Bull by themselves, both a bit shocked.

“Fucking hate magic,” Sera hissed after a while. “Nothing good comes from it.”

Iron Bull nodded in agreement. “Kinda came for the chance to put the Vints down a peg. Expected more resistance than what we got.”

“Missed opportunity, yeah? Oh well, wonder what the soldiers scraped up for dinner. I’m starving!” She went to the stew pot and grimaced seeing its contents. She grabbed a bowl and picked out a gelatinous glob. She sat by the fire and nibbled at the half-appetizing bits. She looked at Iron Bull, who still hasn’t moved. “Come on, big guy. Get a bowl and sit instead of gawking like a dummy.”

Bull shook his head and followed her command. “Aren’t you worried about the Boss? She seemed off.”

“Well wouldn’t you be? Seeing the world ending, then being shunted back like a yo-yo? Don’t blame her for needing to let off some steam. Though, let’s be real, she probably needs a better outlet than whatever she’s doing out there. Love to get my hands on her and,” she giggles while making an obscene gesture, “ya know? When she isn't sparking, of course. That probably wouldn’t be fun.”

“Never underestimate the thrill of a well placed shock. The tamassarans had this tool, something the herders used on livestock. They’d activate it, and,” he shuddered. “Felt good.”

“Ew, gross, no thanks. Would never let any magic thingamajig anywhere close to my bedroom. No thank you. That’s just weird.”

“Not one for toys in bed?”

“No, I mean, yes,” Sera sputtered, face turned pink in embarrassment, “I mean, jeez biggie, you been here for only a few weeks and want to get into the nitty gritty about fun times?"

Bull laughed. "I'm messing with you, Sera."

"Bastard," Sera whispered. They ate quietly after that. Sera slinked away to talk up the Requisition Officer for some fancy arrows. A while later, Dorian, a lot cleaner and a lot more haggard, shuffled to his tent. The moon sat high, yet, still, there's no Sadia. He approached one of the night guards. 

"Have you caught sight of Adaar, yet?" He asked the guard

"No, I haven't, ser,” the guard replies, shifting awkwardly away from Bull. “Last I saw her, she went south a few hours ago."

Iron Bull tsked. "That's not good."

"No, ser. Thinking of looking for her?"

"Yeah. Wasn't a good idea to let her go alone in the first place. Send more people if we aren't back in an hour."

"Yessir. Be safe, ser."

Iron Bull patted the war-axe on his back. "Don't worry. I will be."

It didn't take long for the Iron Bull to find his target. The crackling static and stench of ozone gave her away pretty quickly. She was at the edge of one of the hills, feet flat on the ground and fists clenched at her sides. Her staff laid at her feet, but even without it purple sparks danced and popped, tiny bolts of magic that seemed to go nowhere. Her eyes were closed. In the quiet of the night, he heard her whisper.

"I am safe. Sera, Leliana and the Iron Bull are safe. That future is no longer exists. They are still alive. You had to leave them. You couldn't save them. The bastard responsible is in chains. It's not your fault. You won. Breathe….just...breathe...and release." she unclenched her hands in time with her exhalations, sparks arcing between her fingers. The sparks fell into the ground. As they seeped into the earth, the magical field dissipated. She opened her eyes, looked around her, and took a long, drawn-out sigh. She slipped down to the ground, lying splayed out like a starfish. "Finally….fucking finally. Good girl, Sadia. Good girl." 

She jerked straight up when Iron Bull said, "Hey, Boss." He watched the anxiety flash across her face, her hand tense over her staff. "Hey, relax," he soothed, holding his hands up. "I'm just checking up on you. You've been gone for a while. You OK?"

"I am now," she answered, wrapping her arms around her legs. "I'm sorry for wandering off. Didn't want to worry anyone."

"Hey, I'm not your keeper," he reassured her, sitting down next to her. "Though, it's kind of hard for me to guard a body when I don't know where that body is. Kinda defeats the purpose of the contract."

Sadia smirked. "Well, I didn't MEAN to be gone so long. Time just got away from me. Not like anybody would try anything while I was like...that." She turned her head towards him. Her eyes belied a certain level of sadness and exhaustion. "I didn't scare you, did I?"

Iron Bull chuckled. "Nah, a little magic doesn't scare me. Now, if you started talking in tongues and twisting your head around, then I'd probably scream like a little girl." He doesn't know why, but his heart stuttered hearing her giggle.

"No, you don't have to worry about me being possessed. No one's voice is in here but my own." She shuffled in place. "Please don't tell the Qun about this," she murmured.

Iron Bull blinked, feigning confusion. "About what, Boss? Sera trying to get in the Requisition Officer's pants?"

"No, this! What you stepped into. This,” she paused trying to find the right word. “episode. Please don't tell the Qun what happened."

"Well, I can't really tell them what happened if I have no idea what it was, you understand?"

"I'm not explaining anything until you promise I won't find this in a report. I don't need them to send assassins after me."

"They'd never," he stopped, knowing they would if they thought she was too dangerous. To be honest, he didn't even know at the moment if she was possessed or not. "Fine, shit's off the record. What did I walk into?"

"Nothing really, but it looks worse than it actually is. Ever since I was an itty bitty, smooth headed baby, I'd get these episodes. Little attacks where my brain goes haywire and starts spinning and thinking stupid crap. Things like 'you're going to die', or 'everybody hates you', or 'you are a failure and deserve nothing in life's. Even before I even developed magic, my Mama was working on exercises to calm my head and heart when it got bad. Then my magic came in, and well, shit like this happened. My body thinks it's in a fight and my mind conjures up magic to protect itself. At that point, I either explode, or,” she gestured at the air around her, “do this. Step aside and let it out slowly, safely. Before the Conclave, I got a bad one maybe every few months. The Valo-Kas knew about it. They gave me even more resources to handle it. Our medic would even brew me tea to help calm my nerves. However, nothing they could give me could prepare me for….what I saw today. It made me sick, made me angry, made me scared. I can't get it out of my head."

"It's Ok, Boss,” Iron Bull said, putting an arm out to comfort her. He was surprised she leaned into it. “We've all seen some shit we'd rather forget."

"I can't forget, Iron Bull. I can't. Bull, you had gone mad. Full, head-chopping, scalp-taking mad. You had red lyrium growing out of your eye!" She pointed to his empty socket. "Sera, Sera was no better. She didn't make sense half the time, like not making full sentences nonsense, not her normal crap. Her head was all red. Her laugh made my teeth grind. The only thing keeping you two under heel was the fact that we were going to kill the people who did this to you. That? That's what happens if I FAIL, Iron Bull! If I fail at closing the Breach, that's your life! I can't forget that. I can't, or I'd just walk away and never return because I don't deserve to have this bullshit on my shoulders driving me insane. I have to end this, Iron Bull. I have to, and that's why you can't tell the Qun about this."

"I told you I wouldn't, so I won't. Haven't I been honest with you so far?"

Sadia’s face went stony. She looked him straight in the eye. "I've been lied by Qunari before. If I find any mention of this in a report, your horns are going on my wall."

"Now who's the scalper huh? Look, this is what I would tell them about what happened today. A Tevinter magister tried to conscript the rebel mages into slavery. He was using time magic in order to manipulate the local area. The Inquisition deduced this and went to confront him. He assaulted the Herald with time magic, but she bested his attempts and apprehended him. The local king returned to his throne, and the Herald conscripted the mages for her cause. This indicates that she has an understanding of the dangerous power of magic and its need to be controlled, as well as a strategic mind that can even best the Magisterium. That a fair assessment of the day?"

Sadia fell dumbstruck, jaw slack. She searched him for something, a tell, a weakness to see if he's lying. He wasn't though, even if it would be so easy to. He knew how the Qun would react to her episode. They'd want him to lead her somewhere so they could slap a nullifying collar on her. Magic in the south was one thing, but uncontrolled magic that was connected to some Fade-rending symbol was another. They would use her for her only purpose...and then what? He didn't know. He didn't want to know. That wouldn't be his mission. His mission was to look and listen. That's all he was doing here: looking and listening. He watched her silently cycling through several emotions: awe, gratitude, joy. He felt bashful at her sincere smile.

"I...yes, that's perfect." Her shoulders relaxed. She unfurled, resting her head against his shoulder. "Thank you, Bull."

"No problem, Boss,” he responded, heart thumping in his chest.

"Never really figured you for your eloquence," she teased. "Your crass songs, sure, but that...was something else."

"Yes, well," Bull stammered, rubbing the back of his head. "There's a certain language to the reports. Can't just write, 'Saw the Herald make a Vint piss himself. More to come.' The Ben-Hassarth wouldn't appreciate it."

"You know, you could give Varric some writing tips. He makes spy novels. Sure he'd love to pick your brain about the language."

"Nah, can't have him knowing TOO much about the business. That ruins the fun."

"Meanie," Sadia teased, pushing him away. "We should get back to camp. It's getting cold out here, and I'm tired."

"Yeah, can't really feel the tips of my fingers right now."

"Aren't you missing a few?"

"Oh shit, they fell off?!" He shouted jokingly. He held his left hand up like he's inspecting it. "Damn, get the healer. Maybe we can still reattach them!"

Sadia laughed again, this time a full belly laugh. Iron Bull's heart seized once more. She looked so...damn hot smiling. He can see her ear-to-ear grin, the laugh lines around her eyes under the vitaar, and her tits just...wow, ok. Iron Bull needed to stop that line of thought. She's his boss, his mark, a bas saarebas. She's...not something he should probably get attached to. He felt proud making her smile, helping her take a load off, seeing her relax around him. Part of him knew this was part of the job. The more comfortable people are around you, the more they would tell you. The other part of him knew this had nothing to do with the Qun. This was just him and her, being together in the dark.

"Come on, Iron Bull, let's get you back to camp." She helped prop him up. While they walked back, she leaned up against him. Her little attack must have left her more drained then she let on. She put a lot of weight on him, and held onto his arm tightly. He wasn't sure what to think about this. She was pretty, no doubt about that. She covered herself up in garish makeup and dyed her hair to her stereotypical white hair, but she had a great pair, a fine ass, and an awesome rack. She was smart, and powerful, too. He watched her trap enemies in lightning cages before running chains of lightning between them. It’s the crowd control that did it for him. Made it easier to hit crap. She cared about people. He remembered having to haul all that ram meat back to the Crossroads, and how excited she was finally able to have hunted down all the refuge needed. She always took time out of her day to help someone track down a druffalo or find their lost goat or some other random nonsense that should be above her station. However, she always left a little bit taller after having done. She had an intrinsic need to be helpful. Is that why she was so triggered? Seeing all that pain she might have prevented but couldn't? Seeing him at his worst, at what he feared himself becoming? The thought that thay WOULD be how he ended terrified him. If they failed, no Qun training could save him. He'd be a monster. Would he have the strength to keep moving after fleeing that? How could she? 

He ended the night alone. He found some ale in the camp. It's weak, but it's enough. He needed to calm himself, ground himself in a ritual, a sensation, something, anything to distract himself from the thoughts looming in his head. He glanced at the night guard. Maybe he needed to lay off some steam, too. END.


End file.
